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News In Brief

Entrepreneur Excited to Start New Romantic Venture

Recent graduate and Silicon Valley technology entrepreneur Jason Pirloni claimed he was “extremely excited about the prospects” of a new romantic venture he was pursuing. The project, named Jessica...
March 1st, 2009

TA Spends Another Valentine’s Day Office Hours Alone

With the next problem set not due until one week later, Math 51 Teaching Assistant Derek Mitchell spent his February 14th, 3:30 pm to 5 pm weekly office hours alone again in Room 380-U. “I didn’t expect...
March 1st, 2009

Tour Guide Really Likes Stanford

Visitors and prospective students visiting Stanford’s campus on February 27th reported that their tour guide, James Strogen ‘10, really seemed to like Stanford. “He only had positive things to say...
March 1st, 2009

High School Suck-Up Encounters Much Better Suck-Ups in College

Incoming freshman Ryan O’Connell, who considered himself an “outstanding” suck-up to authorities in high school, experienced a huge shock in his first week at Stanford when he found multiple people...
March 1st, 2009

Free T-Shirt Giveaway Once Again Postpones Laundry

Aaron Hetrick, a freshman from Denver, Colorado, decided once more today to just wear that new free t-shirt Stanford gave him yesterday instead of doing his laundry. “Why do my laundry when I attended...
March 1st, 2009

Girl From Nearby High School Knows Some of the Same People

Kelly Jurgensen, a senior from Highland Park High School in the Chicago suburb of Highland Park, just learned that Adrienne Arnold, a sophomore from the nearby Chicago suburb of Deerfield, knows some of...
March 1st, 2009

Novice Skateboarder Falls Down Awkwardly

The skateboarding conditions have been reportedly sub-par over the passed week or so due to the occasional rainstorm, which leave the pavement around campus slippery and filled with piled up debris (twigs...
February 26th, 2009

Obama Expected To Give Sober Speech To Congress

Many were speculating whether Obama’s next speech to Congress would be one where he is intoxicated or sober, but majority opinion has seemed to reflect that they believe he will be sober. “I...
February 25th, 2009