It recently came to the attention of university administrators that several groups on campus were having trouble taking the first letter of each word in their name and making an acronym. SPOON, the group that helps feed the homeless could stand for Stanford Puts Onions On Nipples, but there is absolutely no combination of the letters in SPOON that could result in Stanford Project on Hunger. There is no “H” in SPOON. Administrators are worried because Stanford is supposed to be a place of higher learning, and if students can’t even spell, then that calls into question whether Stanford is actually as academic as Harvard or Yale. Also under investigation is the new Stanford Spiked Punchline standup comedy group, whose acronym is PENIS.

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