Articles by: Siena Jeakle

OpEd: The Only Thing Better Than Listening to Other Music Is Listening to the Song You Wrote About Our Past Relationship

May 11, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on OpEd: The Only Thing Better Than Listening to Other Music Is Listening to the Song You Wrote About Our Past Relationship
OpEd: The Only Thing Better Than Listening to Other Music Is Listening to the Song You Wrote About Our Past Relationship

Let’s face it: There is one type of song that leaves the rest of music in the dust, and it’s the type you write about when we used to date. I saw on your Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr that you wrote a new one, so I listened to it. […]

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Report: Campus Rocked by Exploding-Butt-Related Deaths

February 21, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Report: Campus Rocked by Exploding-Butt-Related Deaths
Report: Campus Rocked by Exploding-Butt-Related Deaths

Stanford, CA – For months, the question of why so many people have died from their butts exploding has perplexed experts. In an in-depth report, we finally take a look at why the butts are exploding, how they’re exploding, and the impact the butt explosions have had on our community. […]

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Classifieds: Don’t Forget About Dan’s Marathon!

12:00 pmComments Off on Classifieds: Don’t Forget About Dan’s Marathon!
Classifieds: Don’t Forget About Dan’s Marathon!

Hope everybody had a great time at Dance Marathon last Saturday, it seemed like a great event for a great cause. I just thought I’d pipe in and remind you that my similar dance event, Dan’s Marathon will be taking place this coming weekend. I’d love to see you there! […]

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All Women’s Issues Fixed Forever

February 3, 2017 1:48 pmComments Off on All Women’s Issues Fixed Forever
All Women’s Issues Fixed Forever

Last Saturday, over one million people worldwide marched in the Women’s Marches, protesting Donald Trump’s presidency and officially marking the successful end of women’s issues altogether. Such phenomena as unequal pay, objectification, sexual violence, the glass ceiling, general misogyny, and other bummer subjects are over. People everywhere are overjoyed that […]

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Op Ed: I Looked Pretty Cool Leaving My Midterm Early

November 28, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Op Ed: I Looked Pretty Cool Leaving My Midterm Early
Op Ed: I Looked Pretty Cool Leaving My Midterm Early

So I had my Chem midterm this week, and I thought it was actually really easy. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, especially because I barely studied. I had, like, 3 papers due this week and another midterm coming up, so I honestly didn’t even care about […]

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Nerd Who Still Goes to Dorm Meetings Only One Who Knows of Coming Blood Harvest

November 14, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Nerd Who Still Goes to Dorm Meetings Only One Who Knows of Coming Blood Harvest
Nerd Who Still Goes to Dorm Meetings Only One Who Knows of Coming Blood Harvest
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Persimmons in Dining Hall Put Confusion Into Student Heads

October 10, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Persimmons in Dining Hall Put Confusion Into Student Heads
Persimmons in Dining Hall Put Confusion Into Student Heads

At around 11:45am on Oct 5th, reports began flowing in from Arrillaga Dining that some things called ‘persimmons’ had started to appear in large silver bowls throughout the dining hall. The emergence of this strange orange fruit(?), about the size of a tomato, has left the campus in shambles, placing […]

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Frosh Formal Ravaged By Gators

November 16, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on Frosh Formal Ravaged By Gators
Frosh Formal Ravaged By Gators

Frosh Formal, “Boogie on the Bayou,” ended in horror last Friday night when an innocent attempt at authentic decor took a turn for the worst—and the deadly. Dance coordinators paid special attention to decorations this year, achieving the “Bayou” atmosphere with installments of wetland and swampy flora and fauna. Featuring […]

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Shortage of Sick Party Names Spells Disaster

October 20, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Shortage of Sick Party Names Spells Disaster
Shortage of Sick Party Names Spells Disaster

The party scene at Stanford fraternities this year has been off to a good start, with such successful shindigs as “KAbo” and “Sigma Nu Orleans.” The pressure to put on parties with totally sick names, however, may be getting to fraternities this quarter. “It is a well-known fact that people […]

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