Articles By: Heidi Messiha
New Sexile App Available on All Smartphones
Have you ever been kicked out of your room because your roommate’s getting some every night and you’re too much of a pussy to chase after girls? Or perhaps you’re too ugly. Or maybe you just smell. Either way, you’re not getting laid tonight, and you can’t sleep in your bed because there’s...
October 28th, 2011
Stanford Math Major Trying to Solve Sigma Nu
Early Monday morning, a freshman math major was discovered outside of Sigma Nu mumbling incomprehensibly and surrounded by balled-up sheets of paper and eraser shavings. After paramedics fed and calmed him, the student identified himself as Martin Bologne from Des Moines, Iowa. Bologne explained that...
October 15th, 2011
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Today is National Dress Like a Muggle Day
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Issue 117 Puzzles
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Nation Prepares for All-Out Sex Party in Wake of Obama Announcement
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