Pregnancy tests on Iraq returned positive today, confirming suspicions held by many Americans and political pundits that the United States did not pull out in time. Despite Obama’s campaign promises to pull out of Iraq, the President never acted.
It seems that his victory in the election last Fall excited the United States so much that it forgot what it was trying to do, allowing troops to continue to flow into and disseminate throughout Iraq.
The White House reported that next time the US wants to invade a developing democracy, it will be sure to put it on the pill.

You May Also Like

Revolutionary Soft Drink Pepsialis to Hit Stores Next Week

A collaboration between beverage giant PepsiCo and erectile dysfunction upstart Cialis has…

Vaden Cites Ability to See Own Breath as Sign of Demonic Possession

Campus has undergone strange changes this past week: sunglasses have given way…

Special Olympics Proud of Winter Olympics

VANCOUVER—In a display of appreciation and support, the Special Olympics committee convened…

Stanford Registrar Changes To New Epic Fail Grading System

Faced with increasing numbers of stressed students and flustered professors, the Stanford…