After Toxic Spill, Local Mutant Baby Born with Power of Cancer

November 12, 2018 7:00 pm
After Toxic Spill, Local Mutant Baby Born with Power of Cancer
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Report: Devil Horny

7:00 pm
Report: Devil Horny
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Stanford Tackles Overcrowding by Pitching Tents on Football Field

November 3, 2018 3:00 pm
Stanford Tackles Overcrowding by Pitching Tents on Football Field

So many trees, so little room! The Stanford Class of 2022 is projected to overwhelm the school’s feeble infrastructure. The university has historically had a problems with overcrowding, which is no surprise, considering its meager $25 billion endowment. Fortunately, it seems that the university with the second largest campus in […]

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Op-Ed: I’m Going as Mario for Halloween, Not The Videogame Character, But The Guy Who Comes into My Dad’s Butcher Shop Every Month and Threatens to Break His Kneecaps if He Doesn’t “Do Right By Him”

October 29, 2018 7:00 pm
Op-Ed: I’m Going as Mario for Halloween, Not The Videogame Character, But The Guy Who Comes into My Dad’s Butcher Shop Every Month and Threatens to Break His Kneecaps if He Doesn’t “Do Right By Him”

Another year, another Halloween costume—and this time I’m dressing up as Mario “Spleen-Blaster” Manocchio, the rough-looking gentleman who saunters into my dad’s meat shop once a month to collect a brown paper bag full of hundred dollar bills, under the stipulation that if my dad doesn’t “pay up” he’ll find […]

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Op-Ed: My Classmates Keep Playing Devil’s Advocate. I Want to Play God’s Advocate.

October 8, 2018 7:00 pm
Op-Ed: My Classmates Keep Playing Devil’s Advocate. I Want to Play God’s Advocate.

Every class I’m in, there always seems to be someone at hand to advocate for the will of Satan. And quite frankly? I’ve had enough of the imbalance. If everyone else is going to keep playing Devil’s Advocate, then it’s high time I play God’s. The Lord has a place […]

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No Way, Yahweh! We Couldn’t Think of a Second Half to this Headline

June 4, 2018 12:00 pm
No Way, Yahweh! We Couldn’t Think of a Second Half to this Headline
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We Interviewed A Guy With Shovels For Hands, But He Mainly Wanted To Discuss Wealth Inequality Instead Of The Shovel-Hands Thing

May 16, 2018 11:12 pm
We Interviewed A Guy With Shovels For Hands, But He Mainly Wanted To Discuss Wealth Inequality Instead Of The Shovel-Hands Thing

Earlier this week, the Flipside had the opportunity to interview local legend Ernest “Shovel Hands” Mattox, a Palo Alto resident of 56 years and a freak of nature born with two large shovels instead of hands. However, although Ernest was willing to do an interview, he seemed far more interested […]

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Former Frat Member Adjusts to Life Without Unfounded Arrogance

May 14, 2018 5:24 pm
Former Frat Member Adjusts to Life Without Unfounded Arrogance

This past week has been a tough one for Stanford Sophomore Kevin Bimtron after his fraternity had its charter revoked. Kevin, whose LinkedIn bio says ‘work hard, play hard’, has faced some difficulty in adjusting to the change. “It’s tough to deal with ya know? I just worry that the […]

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Student Wearing Clothes Must Think He’s Really Hot Shit

12:00 pm
Student Wearing Clothes Must Think He’s Really Hot Shit

Noting the young man appeared irritatingly confident and self-assured, sources confirmed yesterday that junior Brian Murk must think he’s really hot shit ‘cuz of all those clothes he’s wearing all the time. “God, what a prick—all he does is walk around with that smug grin and those cottony pants and […]

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Report: Pure Sigma Chi Bloodline To Be Dirtied by Non-Greek Plebeians Next Year

May 7, 2018 12:00 pm
Report: Pure Sigma Chi Bloodline To Be Dirtied by Non-Greek Plebeians Next Year

In a turn of events that has horrified many, it was announced earlier this week that the Alpha Omega chapter of Sigma Chi will be opening its house to the “plain folk” of Stanford in the coming academic year. This break from tradition comes after Sigma Chi was prohibited from […]

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