We Interviewed A Guy With Shovels For Hands, But He Mainly Wanted To Discuss Wealth Inequality Instead Of The Shovel-Hands Thing

May 16, 2018 11:12 pm
We Interviewed A Guy With Shovels For Hands, But He Mainly Wanted To Discuss Wealth Inequality Instead Of The Shovel-Hands Thing

Earlier this week, the Flipside had the opportunity to interview local legend Ernest “Shovel Hands” Mattox, a Palo Alto resident of 56 years and a freak of nature born with two large shovels instead of hands. However, although Ernest was willing to do an interview, he seemed far more interested […]

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Former Frat Member Adjusts to Life Without Unfounded Arrogance

May 14, 2018 5:24 pm
Former Frat Member Adjusts to Life Without Unfounded Arrogance

This past week has been a tough one for Stanford Sophomore Kevin Bimtron after his fraternity had its charter revoked. Kevin, whose LinkedIn bio says ‘work hard, play hard’, has faced some difficulty in adjusting to the change. “It’s tough to deal with ya know? I just worry that the […]

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Student Wearing Clothes Must Think He’s Really Hot Shit

12:00 pm
Student Wearing Clothes Must Think He’s Really Hot Shit

Noting the young man appeared irritatingly confident and self-assured, sources confirmed yesterday that junior Brian Murk must think he’s really hot shit ‘cuz of all those clothes he’s wearing all the time. “God, what a prick—all he does is walk around with that smug grin and those cottony pants and […]

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Report: Pure Sigma Chi Bloodline To Be Dirtied by Non-Greek Plebeians Next Year

May 7, 2018 12:00 pm
Report: Pure Sigma Chi Bloodline To Be Dirtied by Non-Greek Plebeians Next Year

In a turn of events that has horrified many, it was announced earlier this week that the Alpha Omega chapter of Sigma Chi will be opening its house to the “plain folk” of Stanford in the coming academic year. This break from tradition comes after Sigma Chi was prohibited from […]

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Clippy Shows Dying Grandmother how to Write her Will

May 3, 2018 10:18 am
Clippy Shows Dying Grandmother how to Write her Will
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Top Five Matches I Got On Match18

April 30, 2018 12:00 pm
Top Five Matches I Got On Match18

Oh, hey there, Flipside-reading seniors. Sad because you didn’t get paired up with anyone through Match18? Sucks to suck, ‘cuz I matched with five total baddies with whom I’ll likely now pursue torrid, emotionally-fulfilling sexual relationships until graduation. Check them out! 1. Tammy Two-Toes Damn, what a catch! Ever since […]

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Feminism FTW: This Girl Eats Bugs and No One Can Get Her to Stop

April 24, 2018 2:30 pm
Feminism FTW: This Girl Eats Bugs and No One Can Get Her to Stop
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Neat! In Grand Theft Auto 6, You’ll be Able to Fuck a Dog

2:22 pm
Neat! In Grand Theft Auto 6, You’ll be Able to Fuck a  Dog
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Heartwarming: When her school couldn’t afford to buy this teacher a gun, she paid for one out-of-pocket

April 23, 2018 11:30 pm
Heartwarming: When her school couldn’t afford to buy this teacher a gun, she paid for one out-of-pocket

Jackie Robinson Middle School in Queens, New York has been hit by multiple budget cuts over the last few years, so it’s no surprise that the school isn’t always able to afford basic classroom supplies. But while for some teachers that means just scraping by on what’s already available, English […]

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Op Ed: I’m on an All-Caterpillar Diet and You Should Join Me!

April 16, 2018 12:00 pm
Op Ed: I’m on an All-Caterpillar Diet and You Should Join Me!

  Look, everybody has their favorite snack. For my roommate, it’s Hot CheetosTM, for my little brother, it’s FunyunsTM, but for me, it’s those dang dangling crittersTM that cover campus during this fateful quarter. Every time I bike past one, all I have to do is open up my yapper […]

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