Lebron James to Sign with the Stanford Cardinal

May 16, 2010 1:25 pm
Lebron James to Sign with the Stanford Cardinal

League sources have confirmed that superstar LeBron James plans to opt out of his contract with the Cleveland Cavaliers to sign with the Stanford Cardinal. Tired of early playoff exits, James decided he needed a change of scenery. At his press conference, James said, “I’m really excited to play for […]

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Jewish-Muslim Game Night Devolves into Heated Game of Risk

May 9, 2010 4:31 pm
Jewish-Muslim Game Night Devolves into Heated Game of Risk

HILLEL HOUSE–Last week, tens of Jewish and Muslim students gathered to promote interfaith relationships and just have a grand old time. Students attending the game night played a number of carefree games including Candyland, Apples to Apples and Connect Four 3D. While these games were all in good fun, tensions […]

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AlertSU Reports Woman Peeper: Huge Cockblock



4:30 pm
AlertSU Reports Woman Peeper: Huge Cockblock



The University was met with a flood of complaints after it began using the AlertSU system to notify members of the Stanford community about female peepers. According to Terrence Goodman, a victim of a female peeper, “I thought I was dreaming about a woman in the shower with me, and […]

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Class of ’72 Surges to Win Battle of the Classes

4:28 pm
Class of ’72 Surges to Win Battle of the Classes

Citing the need to defend their claim as the best class since the Vietnam War, the Stanford class of 1972 devastated the competition during Stanford’s inaugural Battle of the Classes. As current undergraduates gradually arrived clad in spirit bandanas and funny hats,’72 immediately established their dominance, armed to the teeth […]

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Facebook Introduces ‘Like Like’ Button For Awkward Teens

May 2, 2010 1:16 pm
Facebook Introduces ‘Like Like’ Button For Awkward Teens

Just weeks after announcing its ambitious plan to spread the ‘Like’ button all over the Internet, Facebook unveiled the ‘Like Like’ button. The new button, which will appear below a user’s profile picture, will provide a convenient way for shy or socially awkward users to share their romantic feelings with […]

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On Closing the Gap

1:13 pm
On Closing the Gap

On Thursday, April 29, professors, students and alumni from Stanford came together in the Tresidder Oak Room for a panel discussion called “Closing the Gap.” I am outraged. The Gap has such great clothes at reasonable prices. Right now, for a limited time only, men’s and women’s shorts are 30 […]

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Stanford Daily Caught in Printing Scandal

1:08 pm
Stanford Daily Caught in Printing Scandal

STANFORD, CA—Last Wednesday, scandal erupted at The Stanford Daily when Judicial Affairs officers stormed the building and discovered the newspaper’s dirty secret.
    After a Daily article published that morning brought attention to students’ cancellation of print jobs to save money, University officials looked into the SUIDs of offenders and found […]

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Earthquake Hits Applebees

11:48 am
Earthquake Hits Applebees

BAKERSFIELD, CA–In a major tragedy yesterday, an earthquake devastated a local Applebees. The Applebees had been home to several hundred consistent weekly visitors, but is now facing a minor inconvenience thanks to the quake. According to Applebees waiter and witness, Luke Crowler, “When the quake hit, the tables started to […]

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Bollard Shows No Signs of Remorse

May 1, 2010 12:33 pm
Bollard Shows No Signs of Remorse

OLD UNION—For years, bollards have served the Stanford community well, peacefully reminding cars of their boundaries and nudging bikers to the most efficient route.  But last week, one bollard went too far.  Last Tuesday, Freshman Doug Dibble was knocked from his bike by Bollard 25B outside of Old Union.
 
 […]

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Party Starts Before Ke$ha Walks In

April 26, 2010 12:20 am
Party Starts Before Ke$ha Walks In

This weekend, Stanford students in Loro threw a party that started before the arrival of Ke$ha. Guests were surprised that the DJ made it pop and blew the speakers up without even receiving instruction from the music sensation. “Yeah, we just opened a few beers and threw on some tunes,” […]

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