Muammar Gaddafi Declares Candidacy For ASSU Senate

April 3, 2011 8:24 pm
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Muammar Gaddafi Declares Candidacy For ASSU Senate

68-year-old Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi formally renounced his position as supreme leader of Libya in order to pursue, in his own words “a much more meaningful elected office.” He has said that his zest for the ASSU senate will define his candidacy, and that he was willing to “die a martyr” if need be.

Gaddafi’s platform is based around ensuring transparency in the funding process, getting more students involved in community activities, and ensuring diversity at the undergraduate and graduate levels. He has announced his intent to “clamp down hard” on dissidents that oppose his plans for healthier options at Late Nite and extended Green Library hours. Campaign season has seen the “Mad Dog of the Middle East” coming to tables in Stern Dining Hall with an escort of armed security guards and scantily clad Libyan women to ask students for their input on what they would like to see the ASSU Senate change.

Gaddafi has sought the backing of student groups such as SOCC and GAIA, and attempted to make his campaign posters funny and memorable. The result has been a smattering of endorsements, and the now ubiquitous “Lady Gagaddafi 2014″ flyers posted in dorm hallways.

Also declaring their candidacy for one of the 15 ASSU senate seats were Hosni Mubarak, Zine El Abidine Ben Ali, Muammar Khaddafi, Muammar Qaddafi, and “Big Daddy ‘Dafi.”