365 Articles Opinion Year 13 Op-Ed: One Time an Athlete in a Golf Cart Ran Over My Dog and When I Asked Him to Apologize He Laughed and Ran Over My Cat My tale begins way back when I was a wee frosh, I… Ben Harley DavidsonJune 13, 2021
Op-Ed: The Daily and the FoHo are Fucking Narcs You seeing this shit? The shit where every publication on campus except… Ben Harley DavidsonJune 13, 2021
364 Articles Opinion Year 13 Op-Ed: “Masticate” is a Stupid-Ass Word Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, sickos. I know that “masticate”, another word… Ben Harley DavidsonJune 12, 2021
363 Articles Politics Year 13 Breaking: Interior Designers May Have Been Among Capitol Rioters in Hopes of Breaking In, Redecorating According to inside sources, interior designer Michelle Lin and a rowdy collection… Ben Harley DavidsonJune 11, 2021
Frosh Come to California to Find Moat, Series of Sadistic Obstacles Barring Entry to Campus Stanford Administration shocked the community last week when President and Gamemaker Marc… Ben Harley DavidsonJune 11, 2021
Op-Ed: Trump’s Not Special, I’ve Refused to Concede the Presidency Since 2009 When I Ran at My Local Elementary School Pah! These simpletons up on Capitol Hill, running around like chickens with… Ben Harley DavidsonJune 10, 2021
South Secedes from Union; Shots Fired over Fort Sumter South Carolina shocked the nation when it declared last Friday that it… Ben Harley DavidsonJune 10, 2021
Op-Ed: Attending My Local Brothel to Discuss the Latest Feudal News with the Three Wise Wenches Bards in every tavern are whispering rumors that Lord Biden is set… Ben Harley DavidsonFebruary 26, 2021
Outbreak of Cyberbullying Devastates Millions of Youths After Melania Trump Leaves White House A specter is haunting the teens of America—the specter of cyberbullying. For… Ben Harley DavidsonFebruary 24, 2021
Meet Bronc, the world’s first genetically-engineered frat bro Ever since Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, scientists have wondered, “Can we create life?… Ben Harley DavidsonFebruary 13, 2021
