After years of silence in hundreds of Supreme Court hearings, Justice Clarence Thomas finally uttered a statement in the presence of his fellow justices, with a muttered quip about rival law schools. He was later seen buying fellow justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg a coke, leading to snarky comments from fellow justices about whether it had a pubic hair on it, and rumors among beltway insiders that he had been “jinxed” by the nation’s second female supreme court justice.
“During a preliminary hearing in 2006 for Georgia v Randolph I heard Clarence and Ruth simultaneously say ‘original intent as strict construction'”, said a Supreme Court Clerk. “I didn’t pay close attention to what either of them said after that because Chief Justice Roberts went on a tangent about the precedent set in previous cases involving the co-occupant consent rule. But I haven’t heard Thomas speak a single word since then.”
Those close to the Supreme Court have admitted that they never read much into Thomas’ silence, mistaking it for the indifference and sleepiness he displayed in his early days as a justice. But they said their suspicions were aroused when Thomas never offered a dissenting opinion that put him at odds with all eight other judges.
“At first I thought it was just because he was content to vote whichever way Justice Alito told him to,” said a source who wished to remain anonymous. “But then after watching his glassy-eyed muteness day after day I began to suspect that it was actually because there something binding preventing him from talking.”
Further evidence for the jinx theory comes from the fact that the other justices have referred to Thomas as “Clarisse” instead of “Clarence” since 2006. Thomas offered no comment on the matter.
