In the days leading up to the election, the Stanford AI Lab announced that Barack Hussein Obama, president of the United States of America, is actually an experiment devised by Stanford researchers codenamed “President 2.0”.
“We coded President 2.0 with a bunch of empty phrases like ‘hope and change’ to see how many people would vote for him,” said Stanford AI Researcher Andrew Ng. “After he was elected, the focus shifted to seeing if President 2.0 could learn to dynamically synthesize new ideas and behaviors. I was sad to hear he got stuck in an infinite loop before his second term.”
Ng was referring to a recent interview in which the president “broke down” and started spouting random, vaguely optimistic phrases. Witnesses state that the president abruptly transitioned from being coherent to saying ‘Forward’, ‘Progress’, ‘Middle Class’ over and over again.
All eyes now turn to Joe Biden, who has had the most behind the scenes interaction with the President. “Well no shit he’s a robot,” Biden says. “I’ve been hiding tortilla chips in his chassis this whole time.”
