With the turn of the new year the five year Brexit deal in the making was finally put into action and the United Kingdom is officially no longer a part of the European Union (EU). While this led to a collective sigh from the EU strong enough to shift trade winds, it unfortunately was not the end of the road; there was still the 1,246 page post-Brexit trade deal sent by her Majesty for politicians in Brussels to work through.
However, when Parliament members began skimming the document– which smelled vaguely of baked beans and Axe body spray– they quickly discovered that there was no substantive content past page 420.
“One moment I was reading an elaborate plan to ensure there would be no infringement on UK fishing rights in the English Channel and Celtic Sea, and on the very next page I was staring an extraordinarily well drawn panel of one Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Candace Flynn railing each other on what looked to be a giant roller coaster,” Parliament member Hans Groober said.
The remaining 826 pages of the document were more of the same, containing painstakingly detailed drawings of Phineas and Ferb characters locked in sexual positions that, when shown to several prominent European heads of state, allegedly made German Chancellor Angela Merkel blush and French Prime Minister Emmanuel Macron hard as a rock.
The UK government has released no statement on the matter other than to clarify that her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip were coauthors of the project. Last known reports also say several chapters are missing after Russian President Vladimir Putin was left alone with the document for minutes in order to “evaluate the integrity of the art,” after which he left through a side door only leaving several crusty socks in his wake.
