Professor Accidentally Opens List of Students Ranked by Hotness Instead of Powerpoint

November 6, 2019 12:00 pm
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Professor Accidentally Opens List of Students Ranked by Hotness Instead of Powerpoint

In a mistake that will haunt Dr. Eric Breckenridge for the rest of his tenured career, the esteemed professor and leader in his field of advanced discrete theory accidentally opened the wrong file at the beginning of lecture for MS&E 142, revealing a list of his students. Though Dr. Breckenridge quickly exited the Word document, the students present for the lecture immediately knew what they had seen.

“Yeah, it was just a numbered list of everyone in the class. And while I only saw the first page before he closed it, it was clearly the top 20 hottest people in the class,” junior Chris McLeigh said. “I think we can all guess how it continues.”

Dr. Breckenridge responded to this error of the century by quickly opening the intended discrete mathematics powerpoint for the lecture. In an effort to quell the astonished gasps and nervous laughter coming from the students in Hewlett lecture hall 301, the professor pretended as though the list was simply a brainstorm of potential names for his new dog.

“Oh, sorry, folks! Don’t worry about that, just um, names, I’m thinking about for the dog my wife and I just adopted.” Dr. Breckenridge said, according to the video recording of the lecture obtained through SCPD.

This excuse was quickly dismissed as students realized their professor was unlikely to list all of their full names and SUNet IDs as potential pet names. While initially many students thought the rankings corresponded to their performance on the midterm, upon further thought, they reached a consensus that this was not the case.

“Look, it was a consideration for sure. But come on — do you think that Justin, the one who asked the TA at the midterm review session how to log on to Canvas, would really be ranking at the top if so?” another student said. “The only thing we still haven’t figured out is how Peter, the 6’7” absolute stud who is unequivocally a ten, is ranked at position four right now.”

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