The early reports are in, and it looks like everyone’s worst suspicions have been confirmed: Seth Delgado, that weird finance bro from your dorm who’s always talking about the Dow Jones and who wears Joy Division tees underneath crisp blazers, is telling everyone that he worked at Bane (Batman villain) over the summer.
“I saw Seth for the first time this year in the dining hall, and I was like, ‘How was your summer, man?’ and he was like, ‘It was awesome! I had an internship at Bane (Batman villain),’” a former classmate of Delgado’s said. “I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be impressed or what. I mean, Bane (Batman villain) isn’t really that famous, you know? And he (Bane (Batman villain)) is a criminal, obviously.”
It remains unclear what sort of finance work Bane (Batman villain) would need an intern for, or why Delgado chose to work for Bane (Batman villain) and not Bain (capital investment firm) or The Riddler (Batman villain). But whatever the deal was, Delgado won’t stop bragging about it, often daring his dorm-mates to ask him to do the Bane (Batman villain) voice, but then quickly backing out on account of crippling “throat dryness.”
“Look, interning for Bane (Batman villain) isn’t like interning for some random Wall Street firm or consulting agency,” Delgado told the Flipside in between sips of single-origin cold brew. “Bane (Batman villain) can be a tough boss, but his philosophy is work hard, play hard. I learned a ton this summer, and even got to shake hands with Batman (Batman hero).”
Added Delgado, “And it sure beats interning at McKinsey (normal villain).”