Invited by the respected hate group known as the Stanford College Republicans, guest speaker and mild fascist Dinesh D’Souza made his fourth appearance at the Farm on Friday. In an artful and avant-garde performance, D’Souza used homemade sock puppets to produce a musical comedy about the Holocaust complete with colorful lighting queues, powerful power ballads and a particularly racist tap-dancing number. He opened the show by strutting onstage to the Nazi marching anthem and greeting the crowd with a small but tasteful salute. “Man,” he began, “this song fucking slaps.” After surveying the crowd, he continued, “The first thing I want to say is good evening to all my Aryan brothers, and that one girl from SCR. The second thing I want you all to know is that when I say the name “Piggly Ralph,” I really mean Hitler.”
D’Souza then conducted an intimate and emotional sock puppet show. Highlights included a spookily accurate “Piggly Ralph” mustache and hand-carved yarmulkes made from the felt scalps of innocent Christian children-puppets. The sets were sparse but well-curated; the music was lighthearted yet deeply disturbing; and the props ranged from Oktoberfest mugs to an easy-bake oven. “This is free speech,” declared one worn-out white sock towards the end of the show as the other socks joined together in happy unison to depict one of the most inhumane massacres in human history.
To close out the show, D’Souza gave one last solute. “Now, who do we love?” he asked the audience. “Piggly Ralph!” yelled back the impassioned crowd comprised of students, faculty, and a vast majority of totally unaffiliated individuals who happened to stumble into the wrong auditorium in their search for the Call Me By Your Name Q&A event. When reached for comment, Mr. D’Souza proclaimed his love for puppetry, musical theater and revisionist history, adding “and now… to Broadway!”