After much consideration and research, Jacob Breston, a student in History 37H, continued to struggle to come up with a paper topic, but then inspiration struck. “I was in this study group,” said Breston, “and I don’t know if it was the weed or dehydration or what but I came up with this good pun: Gorbachevrolet. I thought it was good, so I said it. Everybody laughed so I figured that it was a good idea for a paper.”

That good pun very quickly became the student’s essay title. Breston went on to explain his thought process in coming up with a topic, thesis, and general motive behind the unintelligible paper: “So, yeah, since the topic was Gorbachevrolet, so it had to be about American car sales in the Soviet Union, which may have been a thing. I mean, the prompt said it had to be on World War II. But, like, Gorbachevrolet had to be the topic. It’s wordplay. It was good wordplay. People laughed. It was very good. You understand.”

We do understand, and Breston plans on taking the topic beyond just this paper. “I think this actually might be my new writing style. Life is just so much easier if I force myself to write around good puns. I’m thinking of using it for my PWR class on political philosophy. What could it be?… Hue-mor. Oh, like color in comedy. Did you laugh? That is good.”

At press time, Breston had his dissertation proposal, “Harry Plotter: A Study of Mathematics in Wizardry” accepted.

You May Also Like

Opinion: Fetuses Don’t Deserve the Right To Vote- Animals Do!

Look, man, the neofascist, religious freakout Republicans are calling for the government…

Anonymous Capybara Just Typed “Fuck” Into Google Doc And There’s Nothing Anyone Can Do About It

Oh, the humanity! When sophomore Prithi Chacko opened her group project Google…