After months of tense negotiation, British Prime Minister David Cameron announced an agreement with Brexit campaign leaders and EU officials on Sunday that the UK will remain in the European Union, but only if it can rename the “shitty shit not-good place” known as Hungary.
The decision comes after weeks of debate, political stalemate, and assertions that Hungary’s name is “fuckin’ lame.” British citizens will now vote on replacements for the Central European nation’s title, with early frontrunners including “Boring Stupidland”, “What The Fuck Do They Even Do Here- Village” and “Fuckpit.” Pressed for comment on these less-than favorable titles for the country, London Mayor Boris Johnson responded, “Dude have you even been to Hungary? Literally fuck that place.”
This decision was one of many concession plans that Britain and the EU considered, including possibly renaming Portugal, Belgium, Slovakia, and the Hungarian Prime Minister’s wife. One involved allowing British citizens visiting the European continent to say “I am from an Island and Islands are special and my money is good and better here” as many times as they wanted without legal repercussions.
Responding to these developments, Hungarian PM Viktor Orbán announced that in a stand against “British arrogance”, he will immediately go about un-learning English.