Ted Cruz to Electorate: “Please, Forget About Me!”

Speaking to a crowd of assorted supporters in Monroe, LA, Texas Senator…

Lonely Student Gently Caresses Cat Figurine Between Thumb and Forefinger

As Thanksgiving break neared an end last Friday, most students were at…

Report: It’s All Going to Shit and Area Man Totally Knows It

After years of high hopes, honest effort, and sincere smiles, it’s all just…

Talking Fish That Replaced Republican Primary Will Not Stop Singing

When it was first revealed that the Republican party would be replacing…

After Horrifying Events, Local Man Not Even Sure Who is Being “That Guy” Anymore

“Usually it’s so easy to tell,” said 717 Resident Adam Mickleson. “Whenever…