QUINCY, MA – This past week, the freshman class of 2019 returned to their home towns for the first time since the start of the school year. The eager underclassmen began the week with high hopes, ready to reconnect with high school friends and make the rounds of their favorite haunts. For some, though, these Thanksgiving reunions fell short of expectations.
“Matt sucks now,” said Henry Nguyen, Rinconada resident and Massachusetts native. “He’s just…lame. I don’t know what happened; we were best friends in high school! We used to watch South Park together and smoke weed in the abandoned parking garage near the strip mall. But now all he wants to do is get high and watch stupid cartoons.”
Nguyen also expressed frustration with the topics of conversation broached between Matt and himself: “I try to show him pictures of all the hot girls in my dorm, and he just wants to talk about the chicks in Quincy! Quincy chicks are so bland!” In comparison, Henry showed his old friend a Facebook picture of his dorm crush, Katie, from Weymouth, MA.
“He hasn’t changed much,” said Henry. “I expected him to come back from college finally hoping to engage in more interesting conversations, but he’s still fixated on all the same high school crap. Maybe things will be different in two more weeks when Christmas break rolls around.”