Stanford, California – Young entrepreneurs at the new startup d.Stract have released the beta-version of their new app aimed at preventing students from studying effectively. The app boasts the ability to “play annoying music, constantly send push-notifications about cat videos, and email pointless Buzzfeed-style lists in real-time.” CEO, co-founder, and Stanford sophomore Darren Tillman told the Flipside that he originally got the idea while talking with a freshman who complained that sources of distraction from studying were scattered across the internet. Tillman and two friends from his freshman dorm immediately began to think of ways to disrupt studying. While their app’s release was delayed due to extended bouts of procrastination, the result of their collaboration, d.Stract, has become a resounding success, reaching schools across the nation. Tillman told the Flipside in a recent interview, “We sourced big data on studying and discovered that the most lucrative way to disrupt the studying industry was, in fact, to disrupt studying. Using our proven methods of distraction, we have found an innovative way to successfully prevent studying in nearly all our app’s users.” Users across the country have praised the new app for its integration of multiple methods of procrastination, and downloads continue to skyrocket. At press time, the d.Stract team could not be reached because they were busy watching a series of “Epic Fail” Youtube videos. 

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