Congressional Candidate Wins, Beats Other Congressional Candidate

November 10, 2014 12:00 pm
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Congressional Candidate Wins, Beats Other Congressional Candidate

The results are in. The 2014 Midterm Elections are over and every aspect of the political landscape has changed. One candidate from a particular state has won, defeating the other candidate, and now everything is necessarily different.

One of these two candidates had policies that differed from the other candidate, which voters presumably found more amenable. According to one voter, “I didn’t really agree with either of the candidates, but when it came down to it, I ended up voting for whoever I agreed with a little bit more. I’ll tell you what though, whoever voted the opposite way as me is a complete idiot!”

Even though there were only two possible outcomes, tensions were high as the nation waited to hear the results, as if they had no idea. With the record low voter turn out, those who made it to the polls believed that they had significant responsibility for changing the world. “I know that my vote was statistically insignificant, but it’s nice to know that I’m a better person than half the people in this country!” said one voter from a very large state who voted for the first congressional candidate.

With the candidate’s victory over his competitor, his political party has claimed power over our governmental system. Everything we once knew about politics has changed permanently, until the next set of national elections that are scheduled to take place two years from now.