As the nation reels from the government shutdown, members of Congress have judiciously chosen to get yoked out of their minds at their local and exclusive gym, kept open under executive order by the Speaker of the House. Although national parks are closed and veterans’ benefits are in threat of suspension, the 535 elected officials of the House of Representatives and Senate can still focus on getting swoll in their taxpayer-supported state-of the-art weight room.

Fitness enthusiast Paul Ryan, current representative for Wisconsin’s first congressional district, told Flipside reporters, “Yeah, since I technically can’t work right now because of this whole government thing, I thought that I’d go the gym and get some extra lifting sessions in.

buy tobradex online insighttherapeutics.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/jpg/tobradex.html no prescription pharmacy

” Ryan paused to knock off 10 perfectly benched reps of 145 before interjecting, “I mean, I’ve definitely had to wait longer for some of these liberal pussies to do their 16 year old glamor muscle sets, but it’s worth it at the end of the day when I take off my shirt.”

The Flipside also interviewed Speaker of the House John Boehner, heavily grunting as he finished up a set at the squat rack. The Republican, brow sweaty and quadriceps bulging, scoffed, “You see Paul’s scrawny legs over there?

online pharmacy buy celexa no prescription with best prices today in the USA
online pharmacy amoxil with best prices today in the USA

That’s what happens when you skip leg day.” Boehner continued to chuckle knowingly as he marched to the leg press machine and bullied Harry Reid, Senate Majority Leader, out of his reservation on the machine.

After receiving word of the opening of the Congressional gym and public disapproval of the action, Michelle Obama issued a public statement denouncing the slovenliness of Congress.

online pharmacy tirzepatide with best prices today in the USA
buy revia online insighttherapeutics.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/jpg/revia.html no prescription pharmacy

“I’m the busiest housewife in all of the United States and I’ve been exercising for years. You think these shredded arms and sculpted legs are an accident?

online pharmacy buy periactin no prescription with best prices today in the USA
buy rogaine online insighttherapeutics.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/jpg/rogaine.html no prescription pharmacy

” The First Lady concluded, “Like really, Congress, do you even lift?”

You May Also Like

Study: 73% of People Who Use Handicap Door Button Not Actually Handicapped

In a groundbreaking study published by the Stanford Psychology Department last month,…

Theresa May Only One Surprised by EU Release of Kraken into English Channel

In a totally foreseeable move this past Tuesday, the European Union (EU)…

Rick Santorum Announces Exit from 2008 Presidential Campaign

Despite insistence that it being 2015 wouldn’t deter him, Rick Santorum announced…

International Sex Scandal Becomes Political Tactic

In the week following the sex scandal of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the Managing…