In a yearly celebration designed to remember the horrors of excess alcohol consumption and the Great Alcohol Transport of 1994, Stanford will celebrate the Drinking Games this week. Last week, one boy and one girl were selected from each freshman dorm in an event known as the Draw. These students, known as tributes, will be sent to the Old Chem Building where they will be forced to drink alcohol until only one survivor remains.

While most students were selected randomly, one student, Alicia Bennett from Otero, volunteered for the games. “This is the first time in the long history of Stanford that anyone has ever volunteered to participate in the Drinking Games,” said Ralph Castro, who will be commentating the entire event as it is live streamed across the internet. When asked why she volunteered, Bennett said, “Free booze.”

The tributes will spend two weeks in training, where a student with an alcohol problem will show them how they can turn anything into a drinking game and provide them with invaluable advice. “Don’t go for the chasers at the beginning,” said a homeless man, “It’s a trap. Remember to find water, it will be your new best friend.”

Commentators expect alliances to crop up over the course of the Games. In past years, students have banded together to take turns drinking for each other in games of beer pong.

The Games will be broadcast in Stanford Stadium to the mindless masses, but will be available on SCPD for those who can’t attend the live version. Binge drinking, vomit, and drunken hookups are sure to make the event a crowd pleaser.

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