Just days after announcing the suspension of his presidential campaign, Herman Cain found himself in the midst of yet another political scandal as Roberta Hernandez accused Cain of engaging in a “professional relationship” with her while he was chair of the National Restaurant Owner’s Association. “We would sit in the boardroom, and as we discussed quarterly profits and financial projections, [Cain] would move his hand above my skirt, below my breasts, and into my hand, where he would shake it two or three times before directing me to take a seat,” said Hernandez, as she made a sultry demonstration of Cain’s non-suggestive hand motions. “He told me that what we had in our meeting was to stay between us and the board of trustees, that it should be our little business secret that we should share only with our investors.
” Though Cain was slow to respond, he admitted that he had worked with Hernandez but that he had nothing to say about the nature of his relationship with her or any of the other members of the board.

You May Also Like

Executive Order: Pardons Only Valid for Turkeys Who Participated in January 6th

Trump signed a new executive order invalidating the ceremonial pardons of all…

Climate Change Deniers Describe Australian Fires as God’s Punishment for Cats

DOWN UNDER, AU – Climate change deniers in Australia recently contributed several…

True Aficionado Listens Only To Music Pressed onto 5,000-Year-Old Sumerian Clay Tablets

Citing evidence that “it’s how the artist intended their music to be…

Stanford Police Blotter

Student apprehended at Arrillaga Family Dining for stealing copious amounts of food.…