On Wednesday, Stanford University announced that it would be applying early decision to the United Nations class of 2016. With more Olympic medals, more Nobel laureates, and a larger endowment than most countries, Stanford believes it is finally time for the world to recognize its national aspirations. It’s no guarantee, however, that Stanford University will be admitted to the UN. The application process is rigorous and the admission rate is below 5%. “It’s harder than getting in to Stanford University,” said Stanford University. In order to apply, Stanford must fill out several pages of background information, write five essays including a 1500-word personal statement, and on top of all that, there’s a $50 application fee. “They don’t even use the General Application for multilateral organizations!” exclaimed Stanford President John Hennessy. Nonetheless, Stanford feels that it has a good chance of getting accepted, and has been going to the Hume Writing Center every day for help on the essays. Stanford even has recommendation letters from Canada and George Clooney.
However, if Stanford does not get accepted early decision, it will have to apply general admission to its “safety” multilateral organizations, which are less competitive. For some of these other multilateral organizations, the only requirements for membership are that you have at least 20 people and can cheer in unison. For example, UNESCO is currently considering accepting the Oklahoma Sooners Nation and the University of Phoenix Online Nation, which have a combined IQ of a banana. “That’s not where we want to be,” said Hennessy. “We chose the UN because of the study abroad opportunities, because of the academic atmosphere, and the weather.”

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