You’re better off without him, study finds

February 25, 2013 12:00 pm
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You’re better off without him, study finds

A study released yesterday by an independent group of university researchers indicated that you’re better off without him, and further suggested that he was never worth your time to begin with.

In justifying its conclusions, the panel noted a strong correlation between his lack of maturity and certain inexcusable actions such as being generally uncommunicative and failing to put in the time and effort to understand where you were coming from.  “It’s not your job to sit around and wait for him to grow up,” the study asserted.  “If he isn’t willing to fully commit to the relationship or give any indication that he is truly invested in it, you owe it to yourself to find someone who is.”

The study went on to further note his negative qualities, including being rude, unthoughtful, and, at times, overly-defensive.  Nevertheless, the report suggested that it’s normal for you to miss him and even to consider calling him multiple times per day.

“But it’s up to you to know what is best for you and to make sure you don’t come across as desperate,” the study warned.  “After all, you are attractive, smart, and funny, and should have no trouble finding a replacement who is better than he was anyway.”

In terms of specific policy recommendations, the study advocated enjoying being single, making time to cultivate new interests and hobbies, and starting a conversation with that cute scarf-wearing guy you sometimes see hanging out at the coffee shop on weekends.

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