In a surprising blow to the CS department, the much-beloved programming bot “Karel” has declared that he is going on strike this quarter.

“I simply refuse to pick up beepers for 600 students,” he said in an interview last Sunday outside of Nokia Auditorium in the Huang building. “It’s unfathomable for them to expect me to handle that many beepers in a normal workweek. I don’t even get paid.”

Karel has demanded that he is either paid a living wage for his work, or that a better algorithm be written for him so that he can pick up beepers more efficiently. The CS department claims that they are working on the algorithm, but that developing it may be difficult.

Professor Mehran Sahami, CS106A guru, stated, “We just can’t fathom that there could be an easier way for Karel to leave his house and pick up the paper. Meeting Karel’s demands is going to take some serious work.”

You May Also Like

STANFORD UNDER INVESTIGATION BY DRUG ENFORCEMENT AGENCY: University Reportedly Selling Student Drugs to Make Up for Rapidly Dwindling Endowment

Following the well-handled and not-at-all-haphazard evacuation of undergraduate dorms, Stanford University has…

Freshmen From SoCal Confused By Falling Sky Water

On Tuesday, Freshman Kristen Beltrone stepped outside of her dorm to find…