Earlier this week, Facebook began rolling out its newest round of updates. In an exclusive interview with the Flipside, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg revealed that the update offers “All sorts of new ways for people to connect with their friends.” According to Zuckerberg, the biggest feature of the New New New New Facebook is a Timeline which allows people to completely freak out about what information is on the internet about them.

Facebook users are predictably up in arms over the changes. Just as with the 2006 introduction of the News Feed and again with the 2008 rearrangement of the sidebar icons, groups like “1 million strong against the New New New New Facebook” are gaining steam. At last count, the largest of the groups had tens of members.

Michael himself would like to see a return to the Original New Facebook or the old New New Facebook, circa 2004 and 2005 respectively, though he recognizes that this is not a position which is shared by a majority of his group. “Most people just want to go back to the New New Facebook, but at least that’s a step in the right direction.”

Facebook officials were quietly pleased that only 100 million users absolutely hated the new changes, and hinted that much bigger changes were on the way. “We’ve got the users right where we want them,” said Zuckerberg. “Once we get users comfortable with the New New New New Facebook, we’ll be unveiling the New New New New New Facebook.

You May Also Like

Area Man Dies on Russian Chat Roulette

An area man logged on to Russian Chat Roulette the other day…

Taylor Swift Goes Incognito in Local High School, Searching for Next Boyfriend

Taylor Swift has decided to return to school- but it’s not just…

Study: Women Have Too Much Self-Esteem

A new interdisciplinary study sponsored by the National Association for the Advancement…