In a conference attended by tens of interested toy magnates, Mattel announced that their newest toy, the “Cat in the Box,” will be released in Summer 2012.

“It’s a take on the traditional Jack-in-the-Box,” explained Mattel’s CEO Bob Eckert. “We’ve just modified a few things to help kids get a learning experience out of our product as well as a recreational experience.”

The “Cat-in-the-Box” will help kids from ages three to seven learn quantum mechanics by making the state of the cat in the box unknown until the crank is wound and the music plays.

“So there are two plastic cat heads on springs in the box,” says product designer Michael Lewis. “One head depicts a dead cat, with its tongue hanging out and an X in each eye.  The other depicts a live cat, with its eyes open and a collar that says ‘I can haz life’ on it.  When the crank is turned and the music plays, a nuclear reaction happens inside the box that vaporizes one of the cats such that when the box opens, there is only a live cat or a dead cat inside.”

Mattel predicts that, assuming the reaction remains contained, the Cat-in-the-Box will be a safe learning experience that will provide fun for children for generations to come.

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