PYONGYANG- Among the desolate remains of Pyongyang’s buildings, a single sound can be heard echoing throughout the crushed homes, falling on the deaf ears of the irradiated dust piles that were once the residents of North Korea’s capitol. The sound is that of Wan Ji Sok, local factory worker and totalitarianism enthusiast, clapping joyously and giving the occasional whoop in celebration of his country’s first successful detonation of a hydrogen bomb.
“Truly, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is the greatest nation of earth,” said Mr. Wan in an interview atop a small collection of rubble, nursing a cancer growth on his right shoulder. “Only our leader Kim Jong Un, forever glorious even in death, could have unleashed such sublime devastation.”
As most of the upper echelons of North Korea’s party leadership have been wiped out by the successful nuclear test, the chain of command falls to the only remaining resident of the capitol: Wan Ji Sok.
“No other power in the world can now stand against the mighty foot of Korea,” Wan concluded, “when we launch our attack on the counterfeit nations of capitalism, they will be unable to retaliate against our cities because we blew them up already.” (Iula)