For as long as shelled crustaceans have inhabited Earth, a simple but powerful adage has reigned as unquestioned truth – “She sells seashells by the seashore.”

Recently, this popular expression has come under attack by a group of radical seashell salesman from the Atlantic Coast. The new grassroots movement claims that the traditional slogan promotes an unhealthy attitude of sexual discrimination in the seashell-selling industry, and is detrimental to both current and prospective male vendors.

Robert Sanchez, the self-proclaimed Martin Luther King Jr. of the new movement, explains, “The current gender stereotypes surrounding our industry are simply unacceptable. We are working to erase these prejudiced viewpoints and create a more progressive environment within the seashell business.”

Cracking the shell, so to speak, of a female-dominated industry has not been easy for most men, who often complain of a loss of dignity and self-respect. Sanchez describes the mindset of many male employees when he says, “They are embarrassed to face their friends and family when all they want to do is make an honest living and follow their dreams.”

Though the new movement is facing a rising resistance from conservative seashell vendors, who claim that men are infringing on their exclusive privilege of hawking calcareous shell to passing tourists, Sanchez is still confident of success. When pressed for an idea of a new slogan to replace the biased motto, Sanchez replied, “He and she simultaneously sell seashells by the seashore serenely.”

“And that,” explains Sanchez, “Is something that we can all come together to say three times fast.”

You May Also Like

New Horoscope App Tells You Whether Crush Likes You, As Well As Exact Date And Time Of Your Death

Riding the wave of recent horoscope hysteria, California-based app developer Code Zone…

Stanford Admissions Gambling Ring Exposed

STANFORD– In a dimly lit room in the back of Stanford’s Office…