California’s remaining stock of Sodium Thiopental, a medicinal anesthetic that is also a key component of lethal injections, is set to expire this Friday. In a rare display of frugality, government officials are rushing to use the remaining Sodium Thiopental before its expiration date.

“It’s all about being humane,” said Michael Quinn, the Deputy Attorney spearheading the effort. “We gotta use the drug before it expires or else it might not work properly. We’re giving the prisoners peace of mind knowing that their lethal injections will kill them the proper way.”

Critics of the expedited execution initiative argue that rushing a prisoner’s execution date due to something as mundane as an expiration date is crude and undignified. “An expiration date on a label shouldn’t determine a person’s expiration date,” said ACLU’s Natasha Minsker. “People deserve fresh ingredients in their lethal injections. Not that stale stuff that’s been sitting in the back of the shelf.”

“Stop using our product to kill people,” said a spokesman for Hospira, the company that produces Sodium Thiopental. “It’s bad for our PR.”

After the expiration date, the CA government still has the issue of finding an alternative lethal injection drug during the upcoming shortage. “We have a wide variety of untested, exotic liquids and chemicals for putting in people’s circulatory system,” said Michael Reiner, CEO of Magikill, a company offering alternative lethal injection cocktails.

When asked about his thoughts on alternative execution methods, death row inmate Mark O’Meara said, “As long as they don’t electrocute me, I’m ok.”

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