Stanford freshmen arrived on campus Tuesday to find themselves amidst a historical security conference that will forever redefine the meaning of NSO. In what may be the largest misinformed event since Operation Iraqi Freedom, the world of security professionals and hobbyists convened for the first annual conference for remembering the now defunct Nigerian Security Organization.

Thousands of history pundits, intelligence experts, and four or five weirdos arrived on the quad to remember and recreate the activities of this esoteric agency, which was the state security for Nigeria between 1976 to 1985 and responsible for many human rights abuses. According to official NSO papers, “There were no mistakes made.”

Stern freshmen attempted to describe what they witnessed on the quad. “It was kind of like a Model United Nations conference plus Braveheart with fireworks,” said Vicki Choi of Larkin. “And I may have seen some actual blood,” she added.
Orientation volunteers refused to officially respond, though they anonymously reported that the meaning of NSO may never be the same. (Ben Lubkin)

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