Last week, Synergy residents participated in their annual outhouse draw, where they fought over who will get to occupy the most desirable outhouses and lavatories during the next academic year. Competition this year was fierce, with over eight residents vying for outhouse four. Synergy resident Greg Nart explained why he prefers outhouse four. “It really doesn’t even need an explanation. Everyone knows outhouse four is the best. It’s got the best location, the softest toilet paper and, best of all, an interesting discussion on the bathroom wall.”

Though the outhouse draw went largely according to plan, the event did have a few snags. Specifically, two of the draw groups were split over the course of the draw. “There’s nothing better than hanging out in the bathroom with my girlfriends—it’s why I came to Synergy. Now, I’m stuck in outhouse seven with Suzie Thallows.  ResEd seriously needs to reform the outhouse draw process,” said Synergy resident Jenny Rempel.

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…