The ubiquitous press coverage of the Bush administration’s use of waterboarding has won Bush and Co. a handful of new supporters. Surfers, skaters, and other extreme athletes have praised waterboarding as a revolutionary innovation for those constantly seeking new thrills and challenges. “I had no idea Bush was into boarding,” said Santa Barbara resident Derek, 24, who surfs and wakeboards. “I thought he was whack until he and Condi dropped this ill shit on us.” Derek places Bush in an esteemed pantheon of extreme sports heroes alongside those who created and popularized pastimes like skateboarding, longboarding, and freestyle skiing.
For many of Derek’s peers, the particulars of waterboarding remain shrouded in mystery. “I don’t really know what waterboarding is, but it sounds dank, you know what I’m saying, brah?” said Brady, of Huntington Beach. “My buddies and I are just so stoked to try it. We’re saving up to hit the beaches at Guantanamo this spring break.” Many extreme athletes, including snowboarding legend Shaun White, are pushing for waterboarding to be included as an event in the 2010 X-Games. “First the X-Games, then the Olympics,” said White in a press statement. “So what if it violates international law? That just makes it even more gnarly.”