Every year, students across the country work to organize the “Relay For Life,” an event which, according to the American Cancer Society, “raises money for the fight against cancer.” But while the Relay For Life may seem like a genuine and legitimate attempt to end disease, further examination reveals that this event against “cancer” is a charade. What the American Cancer Society won’t tell you is that the Relay For Life is really pro-life, a relay against choice.

After realizing their efforts to win the hearts and minds of college students were doomed to failure, the American Right To Life movement came up with a new strategy—cancer. Patrick Devolt, leader of the pro-life movement explained, “We knew students would never join the pro-life movement willingly, so we needed to find a way to gain their support in a simple and non-controversial way. We thought, ‘Why not cancer? Everyone hates cancer!’ And so the Relay For Life began.”

Under the guise of fighting cancer, the Right To Life movement started the Relay For Life, an event which would raise money for their cause while also distracting students from their Pro-choice efforts.

In light of this recent discovery, Pro-choice activists have responded by organizing a Relay For Choice.

Though the Relay For Life has been successful for several years, many expect the Relay For Choice to give the Pro-life movement a run for its money. The events will be held on May 22nd and May 23rd and are sure to be fun for the whole family.

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