Opinion: “I Demand A Recount”

By Frank the Disgruntled McCain Supporter

Do you really think the U.S. just elected Barack Obama as President? Come on, America- let’s think again. This is obviously impossible. The only way Obama could have beaten John McCain would have been by using dirty techniques to rig the election. The voters have been disenfranchised on a massive scale, unlike anything ever seen before.

Millions of absentee ballots have yet to be counted. Why is this taking so long, you ask? Because the Obama campaign is worried about them, of course, and stalling. These uncounted ballots are the key to a McCain victory. All those absentee ballots that haven’t been counted yet in California? These extra votes will give McCain the extra push he needs to take this crucial battleground state.

How else have we been misled? I tell you, the ballot had a deliberate misprint, switching the ballot hole numbers corresponding to the candidates of the two major parties. What does this mean? Every vote for Barack Obama was meant to be a vote for John McCain! While this landslide victory for McCain is encouraging, these facts have not been reported to the general public. Demand the truth, America!
We need a recount. We demand a recount. America, stand with me, and together we will correct this injustice to the voters of our beloved country. Don’t worry, America, you will be heard. John McCain will be the next President! As I always say, it’s not over until the Supreme Court votes on it.