By Dorothy Cranard

WASHINGTON D.C–In order to continue his message of change, Barack Obama got a sex change yesterday to give the country its first black president, its first female president, and its first president who has received a sex change.

“Like I told the people,” said Obama in his first press conference following the operation, “I will waste no time. Right when I was elected I knew the country needed something drastic, and so I arranged the procedure right away.”

It is with this same speed and resolve that Obama hopes to tackle other larger problems facing the nation. “Solving racism by being elected the first black president was not enough,” said Obama later in the press conference. “I wanted to tackle sexism as well, and don’t forget discrimination against those who have had a sex-change operation.”

However, conservative critics feel that this is just “more of the same,” and that the Democratic party is once again taking over the country with its no-good liberal agenda and corrupting the minds of our youth. Conservative political personality Rush Limbaugh had this to say regarding Obama’s recent actions: “I don’t want my children to have a president who has had a sex-change, let alone a president who is a woman or black. What kind of messages of toleration are we sending to the next generation?”

In addition to this, Michelle Obama has now become confused in regards to her role as first lady, but Obama’s cabinet will take care of that one.

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…