Spring Quarter Arrives and Loser Freshman Has Still Fucked Zero Professors

As sunlight bathes a calm campus and young caterpillars rappel from awakening…

Freshman Without Friends Or Legitimate Reasons To Be Happy Reports He’s “Doing Fine” In Phone Call To Parents

While freshman Bobby Taylor may be struggling to make friends besides his…

Freshman “Not Actually All That Special” Says Grandmother After Campus Visit

Many students find it difficult to transition from high school into Stanford,…

Quote of the Week 9/19/16

“…I think there will be party favors” –Freshman, calling parents

Freshman’s Christmas Entirely Makes Up For Failing All His Classes

GRESHAM, OR – For Stanford freshman James Davis, the three week Christmas…