Democrats Totally Freaking Out about Midterms Until They Heard They are Graded on a Curve

November 8, 2010 8:24 pm
Democrats Totally Freaking Out about Midterms Until They Heard They are Graded on a Curve

A wave of relief swept over Democratic leaders in Washington this past weekend when they found out that Tuesday’s midterms would be graded on a curve. After election results were returned last Tuesday, revealing that Democrats had lost control of the House and lost ground in the Senate, many Democratic […]

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Student Doesn’t Regret “The Hookup That Never Happened”

11:08 am
Student Doesn’t Regret “The Hookup That Never Happened”

Freshman Eric Chandler headed to Stern Dining Sunday morning with a splitting headache, a dry throat and exhaustion from a night of endless debauchery and bad decisions. What he still had, however, was his dignity. A few of his friends began to ridicule him for hooking up with that nasty […]

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Issue 68 Puzzles

10:41 am
Issue 68 Puzzles
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After 3 Days of Frantic Searching Rescue Workers and Coast Guard Find Jesus

November 7, 2010 4:28 pm
After 3 Days of Frantic Searching Rescue Workers and Coast Guard Find Jesus
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SHPRC Advocates Bike Helmets as a New Form of Birth Control

3:12 pm
SHPRC Advocates Bike Helmets as a New Form of Birth Control

Last week, the SHPRC launched a major campaign advocating the use of bike helmets as a new form of birth control following the release of a study from the Stanford School of Medicine. Concerned mothers have reported on the efficacy of this new form of birth control. “Since he started […]

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Study: 99% of Babies Show Signs of Alzheimer’s

3:12 pm
Study: 99% of Babies Show Signs of Alzheimer’s

Researchers around the world are grappling with a disturbing trend that has sent shockwaves reverberating through the medical community: almost 100 percent of children under the age of two show telltale signs of primary degenerative dementia. “This is downright frightening,” said Stanford medical researcher Lauren Hilton, who has a personal […]

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