Freshman Eric Chandler headed to Stern Dining Sunday morning with a splitting headache, a dry throat and exhaustion from a night of endless debauchery and bad decisions. What he still had, however, was his dignity.

A few of his friends began to ridicule him for hooking up with that nasty skank from down the hall, but Eric quickly reminded them that the hookup entirely took place in the one hour after 1:00 am and before 1:00 am. “Basically,” Eric remarked, “it means that my bad decision never actually happened.”

Many students take advantage of daylight savings time by getting an extra hour of sleep. Others attempt to finish a keg during the hour, making it “The Keg That Never Happened.” Eric, however, took the benefit of the time shift to a whole other level.

His “Hookup That Never Happened” caused many other students to question what they thought they did the previous night that didn’t actually happen. His friend Emily said she thought she went to Late Night, but realized those chicken fingers never actually happened.

Unfortunately, his friend Dennis blacked out during that time, so he can’t remember what he did that he actually didn’t do. Dennis is confused as to why he doesn’t remember it, because the blackout never actually happened either.

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