Arrest of FIFA Executives Pinnacle of Sleuthing Skills

June 4, 2015 9:00 am
Arrest of FIFA Executives Pinnacle of Sleuthing Skills

Last week, Swiss police enacted the culmination of years of FBI investigations by arresting several high-ranking officials of FIFA. Despite the many difficulties of finding and tracking the notoriously public officials of a multi-billion euro organization whose each and every move is literally watched by the entire European population, American […]

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Tom Brady’s Tires Deflated As Part of NFL’s New “Eye-for-an-Eye” Disciplinary Program

May 20, 2015 12:00 pm
Tom Brady’s Tires Deflated As Part of  NFL’s New “Eye-for-an-Eye” Disciplinary Program

Late Wednesday night, sources report that two low-level NFL staffers deflated the tires on Tom Brady’s personal vehicle as part of the league’s new pilot program for disciplining its employees. “We want to ensure that the punishment fits the crime in these high-profile cases,” commissioner Roger Goodell announced in a […]

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Orioles PA Announcer Having a Tough Week

May 4, 2015 12:01 pm
Orioles PA Announcer Having a Tough Week

While many news outlets have chosen to focus on the ongoing societal problems and inequalities that lie behind the Baltimore riots, the Flipside would like to take a moment to recognize perhaps the hardest, and certainly the most ignored burden that one Baltimore resident has had to carry: the Herculean […]

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Man Good Puncher, Other Better

12:00 pm
Man Good Puncher, Other Better

PUNCH-DOME, LAS VEGAS – This past weekend, in the storied Punch-Dome in Las Vegas, Nevada, two reportedly good punchers met to compare their punching skills. It was certain that only one of the two punchers would be declared the better of the two at their shared hobby, but it was […]

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Mayweather Imagines Ex-Girlfriend’s Face Superimposed onto Pacquiao’s, Powers to Victory

May 2, 2015 10:49 pm
Mayweather Imagines Ex-Girlfriend’s Face Superimposed onto Pacquiao’s, Powers to Victory

Faced with perhaps his toughest challenge yet, Floyd Mayweather dug down deep Saturday at the MGM Grand to maintain his unblemished record and take down Manny Pacquiao on points. Mayweather’s camp indicated that Money was forced to dig into his deep bag of tricks in order to pull off the […]

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Flip-Fit: Crank the Intensity

April 27, 2015 12:00 pm
Flip-Fit: Crank the Intensity

   Hello. I’m not writing this because I care about you. I’m writing this because I have a song stuck in my head. It’s called “Intensity.” It goes like this: “Intensity, intensity, intensity.” Intensity is the greatest and most terrible joy. Intensity is the hell you crave. Intensity is a […]

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Studies Show Stanford Students Pee Outside the Bowl

April 23, 2015 9:00 am
Studies Show Stanford Students Pee Outside the Bowl

After a yearlong survey conducted by R&DE with data collected by the housing staff, a startling result has been concluded: on average, Stanford students, especially male students, seem to experience difficulty aiming into the bowl. After receiving complaints about the staining and yellowing bathroom floors around campus, R&DE has begun […]

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Johnny Dawkins Spends Restful Spring Break in Cabo

March 20, 2015 4:26 pm
Johnny Dawkins Spends Restful Spring Break in Cabo

Sucking freely from the bendy straw that contained his third Mai Tai of the day, Johnny Dawkins seemed relaxed after earning a well-deserved Spring Break through the stagnancy of his coaching. While the Stanford Men’s Basketball team will continue their postseason play in the NIT, Dawkins will be staying at […]

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University of Phoenix Awards Super Bowl Players with BA in Business Administration

February 2, 2015 12:01 pm
University of Phoenix Awards Super Bowl Players with BA in Business Administration

GLENDALE, ARIZ.—Long after the fireworks and the confetti had settled on the turf, prizes still abounded for the players involved in this year’s Super Bowl. After the trophy presentation, The University of Phoenix, whose name graces the stadium in which Super Bowl XLIX was held, awarded every player with a […]

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Patriots’ Balls Smaller Than Claimed

January 28, 2015 9:00 am
Patriots’ Balls Smaller Than Claimed

NFL officials published a report this past week indicating that despite being cleared by a referee before their most recent game, the New England Patriots’ balls did not meet league standards for size. Bill Belichick, Patriots head coach, refused to comment at length on the controversy, shouting “ Size doesn’t matter!” while fleeing […]

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