Sustainability Success: EPA Director Scott Pruitt Has Murdered Enough Babies to Make America Carbon Neutral
It’s been a tough year for Scott Pruitt, but it looks like things might finally be turning around for the recentlyappointed Environmental Protection Agency head. In a press release Tuesday, Pruitt proudly reported that the United States has achieved a netzero aggregate carbon footprint for the first time in recent history, all due to Pruitt’s innovative “Murder Our Rugrats Order Ninety” strategy. The MORON initiative has now completed its first 6 months in operation, and the numbers tell a promising story. Before the program began, there were approximately 4 million babies in the United States and the country had a total carbon footprint of 6,870 million metric tons of carbon dioxide equivalents. Since the strategy was implemented, the agency has disposed of 3.98 million carbonintensive babies, and reduced America’s carbon footprint to a perfect zero. Liberals and conservatives nationwide have celebrated the success for demonstrating that the EPA can be politically successful while still moving away from their nefarious history of industry…
