Former Frat Member Adjusts to Life Without Unfounded Arrogance

May 14, 2018 5:24 pm
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Former Frat Member Adjusts to Life Without Unfounded Arrogance

This past week has been a tough one for Stanford Sophomore Kevin Bimtron after his fraternity had its charter revoked. Kevin, whose LinkedIn bio says ‘work hard, play hard’, has faced some difficulty in adjusting to the change. “It’s tough to deal with ya know? I just worry that the rest of campus is going to think of me differently,” said Kevin between heavy sobs. “Like, will they still think that I’m super sick?”

To understand the perspective of the rest of campus, the Flipside asked non-Greek Stanford student Sarah Bellington for her perspective on the matter:

“Yeah I had heard that guy’s fraternity got nixed, but I think it may be good for him. I’ve had a couple of classes with him and he’s honestly pretty weird. He’s called several of our professors ‘bro’ and once asked Mehran why ‘AI is so dope at image classification?’ during a lecture.”

Kevin’s friends reported that his recent behavior has been quite odd. On Wednesday, for instance, he was seen playing ping pong, struggling to stop himself from shouting ‘balls back!’ and ‘rerack!’ after each point he scored. This came after he had been seen observed crushing an empty Arnold Palmer can on his forehead while meeting with his PWR instructor outside Green.

At press time, Kevin reportedly was hauling several crates of unnecessarily-tight Ralph Lauren t-shirts to Goodwill, teary-eyed and humming American Pie (Cintron).