Op-Ed: My Classmates Keep Playing Devil’s Advocate. I Want to Play God’s Advocate.

October 8, 2018 7:00 pm
Op-Ed: My Classmates Keep Playing Devil’s Advocate. I Want to Play God’s Advocate.

Every class I’m in, there always seems to be someone at hand to advocate for the will of Satan. And quite frankly? I’ve had enough of the imbalance. If everyone else is going to keep playing Devil’s Advocate, then it’s high time I play God’s. The Lord has a place […]

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A Senior Farewell

June 5, 2018 2:06 pm
A Senior Farewell

Fuck you! That’s right, do you really think we value you as a reader? We don’t. We never have, and we never will. You’re just meat–a lopsided globule of flesh with a level of consciousness barely adequate for understanding our comedy slop. You struggle with puzzles designed for children, you […]

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Op-Ed: How To Beat The Draw, By Me, The ShamWow Guy

May 30, 2018 12:00 pm
Op-Ed: How To Beat The Draw, By Me, The ShamWow Guy

Didn’t get your first choice? Suffering from fractured friendships? Over-eager to disrupt the private lives of upperclassmen who just want to graduate on time? Well buckle up, buttercup — here’s a pro’s inside scoop on how to really beat the Stanford Draw! Other insiders might tell you to pre-assign, return […]

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Op-Ed: I Made my Phone Screen Black and White Because a Vox Video Told Me to, and Now I’m Blind

March 19, 2018 12:03 am
Op-Ed: I Made my Phone Screen Black and White Because a Vox Video Told Me to, and Now I’m Blind

  That’s right folks, those internet trolls got me again, and this time it’s resulted in a pesky little problem: I’ve lost vision in both of my eyes. Last night, as I was browsing some of my favorite YouTube channels, which include Vox, NowThis and The Young Turks, I came […]

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Flipside News in Brief: Douchebags, Theater and the NRA

March 5, 2018 12:00 pm
Flipside News in Brief: Douchebags, Theater and the NRA

Notice of Correction: Douchebag Also Fucknose Last week, the Flipside published an article in which junior Trevor Pangloss was referred to as a “simpering douchebag.” However, it has since come to our attention that — although Pangloss is indeed a certifiable douchebag — he is also a festering fucknose. This […]

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Flipside Classifieds — Thoughts From the Student Body

February 26, 2018 12:00 pm
Flipside Classifieds — Thoughts From the Student Body

Here’s the Tree week stunt I did that the University censored Listen up, you cogs in the machine. The man, Daddy Stanford, censored my last Tree week stunt, but I won’t let it be covered up. I need to let the people know of my important, pithy social commentary, and […]

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Op-Ed: Does anyone want to swap P.O. boxes with me?

February 12, 2018 2:24 pm
Op-Ed: Does anyone want to swap P.O. boxes with me?

Hey, would anyone be willing to swap P.O. boxes with me while I go abroad next quarter? Mine is fine, it’s a nice number and good location close to the front of the post office. The only thing that some people might find a little troubling is that there is […]

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Op-ed: Does Anyone Want To Buy Me A Recorder?

January 29, 2018 9:00 am
Op-ed: Does Anyone Want To Buy Me A Recorder?

Hey there! Little Jimmy in the house. I know we haven’t formally met, but I’ve got a quick question for you: do you want to buy me a recorder? Doesn’t have to be fancy, just anything made out of a nice, durable plastic should do the trick. You can find […]

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Top 10 Times I Was Too Woke for My Own Good

January 15, 2018 12:00 pm
Top 10 Times I Was Too Woke for My Own Good

I voted for the Democratic candidate for President but forgot that it was 1892 and they were still the bad ones I saved a POC from an alligator attack but the alligator was actually endangered and it starved to death I became friends with a black person, but it was […]

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Hey Kid, Your Drawing Fucking Sucks But Check Out My SoundCloud

December 4, 2017 12:00 pm
Hey Kid, Your Drawing Fucking Sucks But Check Out My SoundCloud

Wow, what is that even supposed to be kid? It looks like you microwaved a bowl of crayons, mixed the wax with cereal, ate the cereal, threw it up, and then called it a picture of a dinosaur. Is that thing that looks like athlete’s foot supposed to be your […]

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