Browsing Category

Opinion

188 posts

News In Brief

KA Barricades Frat House, Promises to Outlast Siege In what is being…

Op-Ed: Attending My Local Brothel to Discuss the Latest Feudal News with the Three Wise Wenches

Bards in every tavern are whispering rumors that Lord Biden is set…

Op-ed: I add diversity to the department for being a slut 

Dear Abby: The Lewd Worm in My Garden Is Making Me Uncomfortable

Dearest Abby,  I write to you with an unfortunate conundrum: the earthworm…

Op-ed: For God’s Sake, Stop Sending Out These Fucking Amber Alerts—I Already Killed the Kid

Picture this: you’re all alone in the kitchen, pan-frying some tilapia and…

Op-Ed: I, an on-campus frosh, locked myself out of my room, and my solution was to ask MTL if I could sleep over at his house.

The first time I locked myself out of my room, I asked…

I, like the star-nosed mole, can eat a worm in a quarter of second

Op-Ed: Halloween 2020 Sucks

Corona has made me realize a lot of things – that it…

I Failed My Midterm, So I Invited All My Friends Over for a Party, Dressed Up as a Piñata, and Made Them Beat Me

Well folks, it’s about that time of year: when the neighbors put…

i really miss licking handrails :(

It’s been over six months since I last licked a handrail and…