Articles by: Magellan J. Pfluke

Guest Lecturer “In It for the Continental Breakfast”

November 10, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Guest Lecturer “In It for the Continental Breakfast”
Guest Lecturer “In It for the Continental Breakfast”
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Flipside Remembers: The 2004 Midterm Election

November 3, 2014 12:01 pmComments Off on Flipside Remembers: The 2004 Midterm Election
Flipside Remembers: The 2004 Midterm Election

As uneducated voters all over the country turn out tomorrow to cast their ballots in the midterm elections, the Flipside would like to celebrate the Tenth Anniversary of the most important election of them all: the 2004 Midterm Election.  Now, ten years in the future, we can finally view with objective eyes the sweeping impact of this momentous civic event. […]

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Report: “This Article is Totally Objective”

October 21, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Report: “This Article is Totally Objective”
Report: “This Article is Totally Objective”

STANFORD, CA – This past hour, local Stanford junior Magellan F. Luke typed a sequence of words that he is calling “the most objective article [he’s] ever seen.” The History major, prospective Political Science minor, and overall credible source on objectivity in journalism has pointed to this article as “a […]

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End of Line at Ike’s Just Hearing Now About Closure

October 1, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on End of Line at Ike’s Just Hearing Now About Closure
End of Line at Ike’s Just Hearing Now About Closure

Tragedy struck the Engineering Quad this past week, as hopes were dashed and dreams crushed. Despite cries of “isn’t six months a totally standard amount of time to wait for Ike’s?” those queueing since April for a quality sandwich have finally learned of their beloved restaurant’s fate. “It was just…it […]

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Local Junior Describes Tier Three Housing as “Passable”

September 23, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Local Junior Describes Tier Three Housing as “Passable”
Local Junior Describes Tier Three Housing as “Passable”

In the hustle and bustle of NSO and the first week of courses, we often forget that fall quarter at Stanford is a transitional period not only for the University’s bushy-tailed freshmen, but its upperclassmen as well. And, who could serve as a better example of such quiet shifting around […]

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Ask a Man Who Just Challenged Himself to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

September 22, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Ask a Man Who Just Challenged Himself to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
Ask a Man Who Just Challenged Himself to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Dear MWCHALSIBC, I’m a freshman, looking for reliable world news. It seems like every rag at the dining hall is full of amateurish journalism and/or “dick” jokes. Whenever I initiate a conversation about ISIS, people brush me off and go back to talking about banal nonsense. What can I do […]

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Breaking News: Magellan P. Fluke Still Single

April 21, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Breaking News: Magellan P. Fluke Still Single
Breaking News: Magellan P. Fluke Still Single

The Stanford community was shocked to learn late last week that Magellan P. Fluke, local ukulele-owner and purported “eh-kinda-funny” man, is in fact single. On-scene reports indicate that on Friday night he was not on a date with his significant other, but rather in his suite’s common room, listening to […]

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Beautiful Woman Falls from Heaven, Dies

April 14, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Beautiful Woman Falls from Heaven, Dies
Beautiful Woman Falls from Heaven, Dies
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Registrar’s Office to Take Serious Look at Student Schedules

January 27, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Registrar’s Office to Take Serious Look at Student Schedules
Registrar’s Office to Take Serious Look at Student Schedules

The Office of the University Registrar has kicked up some dust recently concerning its course-scheduling policies, re-opening the Pandora’s Box that is the discussion of 8:30 AM classes. After intense deliberation, the Registrar’s office has decided to issue a “fuck you” to schedule continuity, and just randomize everybody’s schedule. “We […]

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Sarah Palin Steals Show at Golden Globes

January 14, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Sarah Palin Steals Show at Golden Globes
Sarah Palin Steals Show at Golden Globes

The Golden Globes have long been derided as the red-headed step-child of the award circuit, occupying the formless, awkward purgatory between The Emmys and The Oscars. That being said, this year’s ceremony gave all of America something worth watching: Sarah Palin. In a surprising turn for both the event and […]

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