337 Articles Local Year 12 Man Who Kidnapped Transients and Locked Them in Sadistic Puzzle-Room Frustrated That They’ve Yet to Come Together as a Team Furrowing his brow and putting his head in his hands with an… Byron CalabasasJanuary 24, 2020
336 Articles Business Year 12 Mattel Accidentally Releases American Girl Doll from Timeline Where Assassination of Archduke Ferdinand Never Happened Quietly swearing under his breath, Mattel chairman and CEO Ynon Kreiz realized… Byron CalabasasJanuary 15, 2020
335 Articles Technology Year 12 Movie Magic: CGI Carrie Fisher to be Posthumously Inserted into “Epic / Hilarious Nut-Taps [4 hrs]” Youtube Compilation In recent weeks, there has been some rumbling surrounding J.J. Abrams’ decision… Byron CalabasasDecember 11, 2019
333 Articles Stanford Year 12 Annotations by Former Textbook Owner Suggest They Were Truly Starting at Base Fucking Zero The results of a new investigation into the strange, sometimes incomprehensible annotations… Byron CalabasasNovember 12, 2019
332 Articles US Year 12 In Final Trick of the Night, Top-Hatted Ben Shapiro Uses Facts and Logic to Make Minimum Wage ~Disappear~ Performing in Stanford’s Memorial Auditorium on Thursday night, amateur magician Ben Shapiro… Byron CalabasasNovember 6, 2019
331 Articles World Year 12 New Evidence Suggests, Contrary to Popular Conception, That Shakespeare Had Feathers and Beak Following the discovery of a previously-unknown set of skeletal remains in Stratford-upon-Avon,… Byron CalabasasOctober 29, 2019
330 Articles Politics Year 12 Hubris Punished: Winnie the Pooh Castrated for Having Larger Scrotum Than Zeus Alas, the wretched Winnie the Pooh has finally reaped that which he’d… Byron CalabasasOctober 23, 2019
330 Articles Opinion Year 12 Op Ed: I Need to Ask My Professor a Question After Lecture But There’s Like Five or Six Different Mysterious Figures from His Past Seeking Advice About Alien Threats Well, I guess this is what I get for taking a class… Byron CalabasasOctober 23, 2019
328 Articles Technology Year 12 Andrew Yang Warns That AI Will Soon Automate All Your Time-Wasting Bullshit During a recent campaign stop, presidential hopeful Andrew Yang returned to what… Byron CalabasasOctober 9, 2019
327 Articles Business Year 12 Finance Guy Had Summer Internship at Bane (Batman Villain) The early reports are in, and it looks like everyone’s worst suspicions… Byron CalabasasOctober 2, 2019
