Annotations by Former Textbook Owner Suggest They Were Truly Starting at Base Fucking Zero

November 12, 2019 11:52 pm
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Annotations by Former Textbook Owner Suggest They Were Truly Starting at Base Fucking Zero

The results of a new investigation into the strange, sometimes incomprehensible annotations found in a used ‘Intro to Political Theory’ textbook unearthed from deep in the recesses of the Stanford Bookstore suggest that the prior owner was truly starting at base fucking zero.

“Look, obviously the point of taking notes in a textbook is to help you get a better grasp on the material,” explained lead researcher Felicity Zhao, an archeologist who’s spent six years analyzing the contents of the book since its initial discovery by an undergrad who noticed that the title was, inexplicably, highlighted. “But the person who once owned this textbook? Oooh, boy, were they coming in with absolutely nothing. On the first page — the first goddamn page — they circled the word ‘government’ three times and drew a big red question mark next to it. I mean… yikes.”

Other evidence gathered by Zhao’s team — such as the book’s table of contents, which was fully underlined front to back, as well as a note-to-self scrawled in the margins of the Democracy chapter reminding the book’s former owner to “Google what the eff ‘voting’ is” — further illustrates the degree to which the book’s initial owner seemed to have been completely bewildered by basic concepts of justice, citizenship, or society.

“Imagine taking a class in politics — hell, just imagine being a fully-conscious human being who’s lived on planet Earth for twenty-odd years — and still having to underline the phrase ‘a politician is someone who is involved in politics’ so you can refer back to it later,” Zhao explained, clutching at her temples in frustration and agony. “Or better yet, making a note to find out about office hours so you can ask the professor what ‘author’ and ‘publication date’ mean.”

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