In what experts are universally regarding as a sad, desperate bid to expand Stanford’s School of Humanities, Provost John W. Etchemendy announced the addition of poultry science to the meager offering of courses that already exist. “Christ, just meet us halfway here!” Etchemendy offered to critics at last week’s press conference, “why don’t YOU come up with courses that breathe new life into subjects that died shortly after the Renaissance?”
Experts noted that President John Hennessy was ‘oddly enthused with the prospect.’ “Here, at Stanford, we really pride ourselves on diversity. We’ve got Computer Science in the fucking bag,” Hennessy asserted with a somewhat terrifying gleam in his eye, “what I really want to know is, what about the chickens?”
Students seem largely ambivalent about this new course listing, but the inclusion into the Stanford Course Offering has definitely led to an increase in chicken puns across campus. “If they keep adding more ridiculous courses, I’m going to fly the coop,” sniggered Junior Lyla Wong, “It’s time to feather my own nest.”
The course instructor was unavailable for comment as he is reportedly “dealing with a lot of shit right now.”
