1

Samantha: I love cross-platform cloud-based computing. I want to make the world a better, more connected place through smart tech. Also, I am a squirrel, a type of rodent.


 

5

James: I forage for nuts all day, even though there are very few nut-bearing trees here. My 18 children and I live in a tree where we eat the few nuts that I can find. I’m not sure what “tech” is, but if it is more nuts, yes, I would love to do “tech.”


 

4

Martin: I’m currently interested in wearables, but the available products on the market do not properly address the needs of squirrels. I recognize that it is a crowded marketspace, but what am I supposed to do, wear an Apple Watch as a belt?! C’mon!


 

3

Marco: I, Marco, am a squirrel, and I have an opinion about tech that is the opposite of Martin’s, who is also a squirrel. Wearable tech is clearly a bubble; play it safe, stay in low-level systems engineering, and eat more nuts to keep your head clear.


 
2

Alexandra: I did SLE. Read a fucking book.

You May Also Like

The Resilience of Mother Earth: With Students Gone, Those Ten-Foot Centipedes from the Paleozoic Era Have Finally Returned to Campus

As the coronavirus pandemic sweeps the planet — forcing people to self-quarantine…

Ogwumike Selected No. 1 in WNBA Draft, Relegated to Life of Poverty and Anonymity

While the campus and football world have been abuzz with the expectation…

Ski Trips Cancelled Due To Reported Sightings of Tupac In Tahoe Area

Stanford administration has released a statement expressing its disappointment over the rumor…